The Merciless Jailer

Saturday morning, I’m the only one awake in the house. mmmmmm. Lying on the sofa with a book. My playlist in the background. What bliss!

I hear a bedroom door close and footsteps in the hall that I recognize as Natalie’s little pitter-patter.  Sleepy face looking at me tentatively. I raise the blanket to invite her in for a cuddle. More bliss! Hugs and cuddles with my girlie-girl. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! what a life!

Some hugging, tickling, talking, zrbting ensues.  Then she spies the dog and says, “no more of that Mom, I want to pet Tulip!  Tulip you are like a little round fuzzy donut!”  ???

Suddenly her alter ego, the Merciless Jailer, surfaces and covers my face with the blanket, saying “You are in jail!  Stay there and be quiet!”

Me:  You sure are bossy.

Jailer (in a rather proud-of-herself voice):  Yes, and demanding too.

No amount of bouncing, singing, crying, whining, asking questions or even begging for fresh air deters her from her Merciless Jailer stance.

Me:  What am I in jail for?

MJ: For being bad!

Finally she pulls back the blanket to give me some fresh air. The blanket pulls my hair down over my face and the Merciless Jailer says, “Your fur is all fuzzy.”   She pushes my “fur” off my face and stairs at my hairline. “Your hair is turning gray.”

Bliss interrupted.

Me:  You are brutal!

Jailer:  We don’t use that word.

Me:  Why not? What does it mean?

Jailer:  It is like being mean.

(She knew!)

I need to get devious in order to escape this 30+ minute prison that’s getting overpopulated: 5 care bears and Hello Kitty have joined me in the cell. I notice her mouth is dry…  a plan is hatched!  “You look thirsty,” I say.  “Yes I am.”  “Go get some ice water for yourself,” I say, thinking it will be my opportunity for escape!

Jailer:  You go get it for me.

That Merciless Jailer.  Even when escaping, she puts me to hard labor!


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