You know how it is….

I hate to start again…. you will think my daughter does nothing but complain, grouch, lecture, etc. Wait a minute…. that IS all she does!  Nah, just kidding.  She is usually quite cheery, which is what makes these stories so … interesting.

Monday, 12:15 pm, the phone rings.  It is Nat’s school.  In fact, it is her TEACHER!  You know how it is … when the TEACHER actually calls, the heart starts racing, as does the brain. (Is she sick? Did she get hurt? Did she … well you know! We think the worst!)

The teacher disarms me by asking how I am! (Must be really bad news. She is trying to relax me, right off the bat.) I have no idea what I said to her, but I must have asked how SHE is, because she told me she was fine but she was calling about Natalie. Duh. I interrupt her bliss and ask if Nat is okay, to which she replies, “Well, yes. However.”

Do people not realize it is better to just come out with it?  I could lose my mind for all this.  THIS is why I have to spend a hundred bucks every other month keeping my gray hairs covered!  Of course there are other reasons also.  Like my age, I suppose.

She continues the story, “I am wondering if Natalie was feeling sick this morning when she came to school.”

Really. Can the woman drag out a story or what??

“She laid her head on her desk all morning and then threw up when she ate her pizza for lunch.”

At this moment I exhale all the air I’ve been inhaling and holding in my lungs. I’m sure I don’t have to breathe for a while now since I was very well oxygenated.

So we go through all the requisite questions and come to the conclusion that Nat was not sick, but had a bad attitude all morning and then gagged on her pizza.  I don’t believe in Karma, but if I did, I would think it was a pretty good deal right about now!! You know how it is…. it is always nice if someone ELSE punishes your child before they come home and you have to ramp up and do all the discipline stuff.  So exhausting.

In this age of technology, you’d think someone would have invented an electronic-automatic-discipliner of children.  With options! Like long lecture, short lecture, chore list, and a bunch of good quotes:  “give me your cell phone right now,” “that’s it! NO tv, xbox, computer, phone, or fun of any kind whatsoever at all forever,” “wipe that smirk off your face young lady,”  etc.  And we could customize it with our own voices if we want to, right?

Or James Earl Jones’ voice. That’d be great!

But of course, just gagging on pizza isn’t enough from a discipline perspective…. It happens nearly every day anyway! So I had to restrict her from her favorite activity after school – the computer. I don’t mind of course, because she just goes to her room and scolds the walls (hey – she never mentions MY name)

Since she is the last of five I have to admit I now get a little, teensy, tiny feeling of satisfaction when I tell her I understand she was not a good worker/cooperator at school today and she gets that SHOCKED look on her face.  (How did Mom find out??) So funny. You know how it is…. right?

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