Who’s on First?

When I am blending food for Nat, I typically put my iPad headphones inside my hearing protection headphones and watch something on Hulu. Today something went wonky because the volume on the iPad kept “self-adjusting” – up, down, up, down, off. I removed its outer protective case and proceeded to use it sans cover.

Sans cover

Problem continued. Ack!! (To quote Brandy, although I don’t say ACK with the same effect! It lacks a lot of punch when I say it. Why is that?!)

Blending complete, I recline on the sofa with my CrackPad iPad to keep me company whilst I barrage Natalie with activity options for the rest of the day.  After all, Seth is gone for five days so we can do GIRL STUFF!  Instead she wants to hear all about my “new” iPad.  Here is the conversation:

Nat:  Mom! Where is your old iPad?

Me: I don’t have a new iPad. This is my old iPad, just with the cover off.

Nat (glancing around the room): But where is the other one?

Right in here ***  I have deleted at least 10 sentences that answer her question more to the point before I start explaining, as seen below:

Me:  Nat, my iPad wasn’t working right so I took the cover off to see if the cover was bothering the volume switch. This is the same iPad.

Nat (because EMPHASIS always helps those of us who don’t catch things on the first try: But where is your OLD one?

Me:  Natalie, go look on the counter top.  See the case over there?

Nat: This one? This black one? Is this it?

Is this the black case?

Me: Yes, Natalie, that is the case. See, I just took the case off the iPad. This is the one that was inside there all along.

Nat: This case?

Me: Yes. Watch this – I’ll put it back in the case and you’ll see it looks just the same as it did and you’ll recognize that it is my ONLY iPad.

Casing the joint

Clearly she is catching that I didn’t get a new iPad. She brings it over, I put the iPad back in the case and show her how it looks and explain again this is my same iPad.  The only iPad I own.

Nat:  Oh. Okay. Can I lie down on the sofa with you?

Me (relieved that we are done with this iPad conversation): Of course!

Nat:  But where did you put your other iPad?

At this point, I begin laughing completely hysterically, while making no sound whatsoever.  (I am more like my mother every day.) I cannot stop laughing because this really is beyond help of any kind.  I will never convince her that I haven’t gotten a new iPad, that this IS the one and only iPad; I do not have the necessary resources to help her understand this. At least none I can think of.

So when she says, “Did you get rid of the other iPad?” all I can say, between convulsions of laughter, is “Yes. Yes I sure did.”

Nat:  Does this one have youtube on it?

Clearly, yes, “this one” has youtube on it also.

Back to normal

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