Waterboarding? NO, not me. Never.

NO! I would NEVER recommend water boarding. At least not of children. Really. I wouldn’t!  Of COURSE NOT!! But it kinda seemed like I was almost waterboarding my sweet daughter when I tried to help her. How can that be? Really, it is not my fault. It all started at the dentist.

If you know my daughter, you know she has a lot of oral aversiveness – you know, doesn’t like food or anything in her mouth. So the dentist is an exercise in careful planning, preparation, Valium, strapping her down, everything ready and BOOM – get it done and get out of there. It is an exercise in stress endurance followed by relief at the moment of escape.

That was the plan. The plan was successfully executed. Or was it? We had been home a few hours when I heard, “Mom, there is a splinter in my mouth.” We’ve heard this before – her baby teeth literally break into pieces when her permanent teeth come in, requiring expert removal by our wonderful dentist. Here she is:

But we knew this wasn’t the broken baby tooth problem from what our truly lovely dentist already told us. I waited a couple days. It got no better. Calling the dentist’s office provided the following information: Probably a piece of tartar got between her teeth or under her gum. Swish with water. Swish again. Swish more. Drink lots of water. Drink again. Drink more water.

Great plan, but Nat doesn’t swish. Won’t swish. Can’t swish. Swish is not in her motor planning dictionary. What to do. What to do. She drank lots of water (the girl does love her icy cold water!) but no change. Gentle attempt at persuasion: try to use a little syringe to gently rinse around the “splinter” honey. (Heck, why the quotations?! It really IS a splinter!) She wasn’t buying it. Often, if we give her enough time to get used to an idea she will move into it.  Not this time.

So tonight, in desperation, I enlisted the help of my two partners-in-crime – BigBro and PapaBear. (Those are their code names – for obvious reasons, they do not want their actual identities revealed.) They helped keep her in a sitting position, (to prevent choking) while I gently rinsed around her teeth with a TINY amount of water to try to dislodge the splinter. What a horrendous idea. And an even worse process! She was coughing, choking, and even vomited at the end. The END OF THAT!!! She gags on command, but still….How could we keep going after that?!

What I DO know is that the splinter is still in there. And I am done trying to take care of it myself. I’ll be calling the dentist first thing Monday morning to see what Plan B is – and it better not be something involving strapping my daughter down and rinsing her mouth! Ugh!

i am sure it will take more Valium – for BOTH of us!


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