The battle is joined!

The girl-child was assigned a new iPad by her school a couple days ago.

It has already brought about a number of problems:


My ruined charging cord. Because she didn’t see the difference between mine and hers:


The bent pins in my cord proving she adheres to the Moriarty handyman motto, “If it doesn’t fit, break it so it will.”

Hours hunched over the screen because you wouldn’t want to bike ride or go for a walk when there is an IPAD available to burrow into. No. No.


Have you noticed that electronics don’t always bring out the best in people?

In the land of teenage girls of almost any ilk, there exists a sassy switch, activated automatically when a parent, particularly of the female variety, makes a suggestion (translate utters a command). Yes, this happens with my daughter who, I’m told, is a nearly perfect kid (scoff). Granted she is delightful and cheerful, and sometimes, also sassy, as well as other things. Story for another day.

Mysteriously, this new iPad has made her feel powerful beyond her years and wisdom.

You can see what is coming, can’t you?

Moments ago, when I told her to close the front door, the sassy switch flipped. The consequence was stated: close it or lose the iPad for a day. (Well, I actually said THREE days but let’s not discuss my hysteria right now.)

Her wisdom prevailed. Briefly. Having closed the door, she and iPad retired together to the sofa.

Out of the silence in a low and quiet tone she threatened, “I am going to hide this iPad under my bed so you will never find it.”

And because a: I couldn’t laugh out loud and b: even ADULT women can summon the sassy switch from some nearly misplaced corner of our minds, I calmly and cheerfully said, “Good idea! You do that.” Chuckling hideously in my mind. See? That’s the sassy thing right there.

I know what you’re thinking: “Be afraid. Be very afraid!” And I am. Now that the school-sanctioned iBeast is here to stay, required for homework, HER responsibility…… the battle is joined. And I feel destined to lose!

I may have to buy her a phone in order to fully wield my power over her sassy switch.

What? MY switch? Come now. It is FAR too late for that. Besides a little sassy can be a good thing, right? Right?


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